The Defriend Offensive (A New Facebook Game)

Sometimes when I’m bored I go to facebook, click home and troll through the updates that are shown on my wall and leave comments on as many things that I can.

Now , let’s be honest, we all have those “facebook friends” that we don’t really know.  You may have requested them because they are friends with 30 people you actually do know.  You may have agreed to their friend request because they are attractive.  You may know OF them but you never met them, they went to your high school or something and you figure “fuck it, sure we are friends”.  Whatever the reason is, we have this stream of information passing through, daily, from people we don’t really know.  That does not stop me from posting on someone’s wall.  In fact, the less I know them, the more likely I am to post something stupid and possibly offensive.

I think the point of the game is to get them to defriend you.  It never happens though.  The people that know me well usually just ignore the comment, like it is not even there.  Everyone else that comments on the post after me also follow suit.   It’s almost like they conspire against the quote “Don’t show him any attention… that just encourages his behavior”.

For people I kind of know, they usually just call me silly and leave it at that.  It’s the people that I don’t know at all that really surprise me though.  You’d think they would be like “Who is this asshole?”, and defriend me, maybe even call me out on the wall, erase it or something right?”  Nope, most of the time they just go with it.  I’ve only had one time where someone confronted me and we actually had a minor spat.

Someone had posted something about the club scene in Miami vs. New York and I thought it was the most ridiculous thing to be engaging in a critical analysis of something that doesn’t deserve any discussion, let alone didactic correspondence.  I guess he deleted all of it because when I went back to use it for this post it was gone.  I basically wrote something like “who the fuck cares?”, but then I sugared it down, to not be such an asshole, with something like “They’re both good”, which I should have left out.   Some meathead friend of his was like, “Bro, who da fuck is dis guy.  He prolly ain’t even been in a NYC club before”.  I pushed back with some eloquent, nonsensical, rhetoric to let them know I’m educated, originally from NYC and I know big words.  They backed off.  We’re still “friends” but I couldn’t deal with that guy’s posts anymore so his updates no longer post to my wall.

I could have scored that day, gotten the critical defriend points.  And that was only a few weeks after becoming friends, but I backed down with that sugar coated post, probably because I just need feel accepted.  Why don’t the cool club kids like me?

Let’s start a league for this, The Defriend Offensive.  Why delete those people you don’t know without having some fun at their expense first?