Every morning that I step into the shower I am haunted by a question that was asked of me almost four summers ago.
The question was originally posed to a friend of mine in an email from his girlfriend. What is the first body part that you wash in the shower? Somehow, the answer to this question is supposed to reveal something about your personality. I don’t remember what all of the answers meant but I do remember the basics of the ones that matter.
The question was originally posed to a friend of mine in an email from his girlfriend. What is the first body part that you wash in the shower? Somehow, the answer to this question is supposed to reveal something about your personality. I don’t remember what all of the answers meant but I do remember the basics of the ones that matter.
One girl told us all that she washes her legs every
day in the shower first.
day in the shower first.
“Every day?”
“Yes every single day.”
“Is it ever anything different?”
“Nope, it’s ALWAYS my legs.”
Alright then. This was supposed to mean something about this person being a very sensual person etc… This makes sense. Legs seam to be a very sensual part of us. I’ll buy that. Not much to question there.
Another person said that they always washed their shoulders first. Now I don’t remember what this meant. I think it meant something about strength. Which again makes sense. In fact most of the article made sense to some extent. I know that it was just one of those stupid quizzes taken out of a YM or Seventeen or Vogue or whatever but a lot of those have some psychological basis behind it. There is some truth to them and they make sense to me. All of them except what I answered to mine.
“Nope, it’s ALWAYS my legs.”
Alright then. This was supposed to mean something about this person being a very sensual person etc… This makes sense. Legs seam to be a very sensual part of us. I’ll buy that. Not much to question there.
Another person said that they always washed their shoulders first. Now I don’t remember what this meant. I think it meant something about strength. Which again makes sense. In fact most of the article made sense to some extent. I know that it was just one of those stupid quizzes taken out of a YM or Seventeen or Vogue or whatever but a lot of those have some psychological basis behind it. There is some truth to them and they make sense to me. All of them except what I answered to mine.
When asked what BODY PART that I wash first in the shower I answered promptly “My chest”. Because I would say that 9 times out f 10 that is the first BODY PART. The explanation of the character of the person that washes his chest first had something to do with them being proud and a good lover among other things. All in all it was a pretty good answer.
But that’s only 9 times out of 10. You want to know what BODY PART I usually wash first if I’m not washing my chest first? I’ll tell you what. My Penis. (Capitalized because of its’ importance) Yes my Penis. I don ‘t know why I do it. But I do. It seems like a logical place to start sometimes. Why not? It’s hanging there just begging for some soap. You want to know something else? The first body part I touch when I wake up 10 times out of 10 is my Penis. It’s just begging to be touched… at all times, not just when I wake up or 1 time out of ten when I get in the shower, but at all times of the day and night. It won’t leave me alone. I’ll be trying to watch a movie and there he is staring up at me for no good reason. Leave me alone already. Can’t you see I’m trying to concentrate on something important?
You girls don’t know how hard it is to have this thing begging to be touched all of the time. “Please please please, just touch me a little.” Where it all day, once every 10 seconds they say. It sucks and women don’t have to deal with it. Maybe if you’re married you do, but still, it’s not the same. You always have the choice of whether to touch it or not. We don’t. We’re slaves to it.
I didn’t tell any of them that day that sometimes I wash my Penis first in the shower. The person that washes their genitals first in the shower has low self esteem. They lack courage and pride and are generally seen as the lowest on the totem pole of other first body part washers. I kept this secret to myself.
I asked the guy who had the survey what BODY PART it was that he washed first in the shower. He replied with an answer that gave me hope to not be cast among the bottom feeders in this shower hierarchy, his hair. His HAIR! I wash my hair first EVERY TIME in the shower and I have an explanation for why too. If you wash your hair first then you can wash off all of the shampoo and conditioner that covers your body with the body soap. It makes sense. The person that washes their hair first is the best of all lovers. I know that there was more that was said but that is all I remember about it. That’s all that’s important anyway. I wash my hair first all of the time. ALL OF THE TIME.
But wait. What if the questionnaire asks that because the people who consider hair a body part. I didn’t consider it a body part. When I hear hair I don’t think body part. I think of hair as more of an ornament. It’s something extra. So what if the questionnaire is saying that the best lovers are the ones that think of hair as a body part? If that’s the case, then I’m not one of the best lovers. I’m stuck being sporadically proud and courageous. There’s nothing I can do about it.
I’ve thought about this every single day that I’ve been in the shower since that fated summer day in Stonestreet Studios when this question was posed to me. I just wish I knew the answer. Am I or aren’t I a good lover according to the shower Gods?
But that’s only 9 times out of 10. You want to know what BODY PART I usually wash first if I’m not washing my chest first? I’ll tell you what. My Penis. (Capitalized because of its’ importance) Yes my Penis. I don ‘t know why I do it. But I do. It seems like a logical place to start sometimes. Why not? It’s hanging there just begging for some soap. You want to know something else? The first body part I touch when I wake up 10 times out of 10 is my Penis. It’s just begging to be touched… at all times, not just when I wake up or 1 time out of ten when I get in the shower, but at all times of the day and night. It won’t leave me alone. I’ll be trying to watch a movie and there he is staring up at me for no good reason. Leave me alone already. Can’t you see I’m trying to concentrate on something important?
You girls don’t know how hard it is to have this thing begging to be touched all of the time. “Please please please, just touch me a little.” Where it all day, once every 10 seconds they say. It sucks and women don’t have to deal with it. Maybe if you’re married you do, but still, it’s not the same. You always have the choice of whether to touch it or not. We don’t. We’re slaves to it.
I didn’t tell any of them that day that sometimes I wash my Penis first in the shower. The person that washes their genitals first in the shower has low self esteem. They lack courage and pride and are generally seen as the lowest on the totem pole of other first body part washers. I kept this secret to myself.
I asked the guy who had the survey what BODY PART it was that he washed first in the shower. He replied with an answer that gave me hope to not be cast among the bottom feeders in this shower hierarchy, his hair. His HAIR! I wash my hair first EVERY TIME in the shower and I have an explanation for why too. If you wash your hair first then you can wash off all of the shampoo and conditioner that covers your body with the body soap. It makes sense. The person that washes their hair first is the best of all lovers. I know that there was more that was said but that is all I remember about it. That’s all that’s important anyway. I wash my hair first all of the time. ALL OF THE TIME.
But wait. What if the questionnaire asks that because the people who consider hair a body part. I didn’t consider it a body part. When I hear hair I don’t think body part. I think of hair as more of an ornament. It’s something extra. So what if the questionnaire is saying that the best lovers are the ones that think of hair as a body part? If that’s the case, then I’m not one of the best lovers. I’m stuck being sporadically proud and courageous. There’s nothing I can do about it.
I’ve thought about this every single day that I’ve been in the shower since that fated summer day in Stonestreet Studios when this question was posed to me. I just wish I knew the answer. Am I or aren’t I a good lover according to the shower Gods?
