"I was telling my sister about you", she said, then crossed her arms and leaned against the bathroom wall.
I smiled and looked up at her from the crate that I was sitting on.
"I told her that you're like a little boy trapped in a man's body."
At first all I heard was little boy and wasn't sure what to think about it but then I realized that she
said that I had a man's body. I'd rather be a little boy in a man's body than a man in a little boy's body so I smiled again.
She put a watermelon jolly rancher in her mouth and sat down beside me.
"You're quiet today."
"I don't know what to say."
She smiled a comforting smile and tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Say whatever."
Our eyes caught for a moment and I realized just why I wasn't speaking. As beautiful as she was sitting
there next to me and as good as she was making me feel, I knew what she wanted to hear from me was the promise of a dream that I would never fulfill. I would never meet her sisters or her parents or marry her and take her back to the states with me. We won't ever have a happy life together and raise children and live a fairy tale romance. She won't ever hear I love you come from my mouth and sitting there, listening to her tell me about her telling her sister and her mother about me I realized that this was what she was looking for. And I'm not willing to give it. Not so much because the situation is impossible but because I know that she isn't the one. As easy as it is for me to realize whether someone has something inside them that I could love I also realize when it isn't there and with her it isn't.
I thought about offering her the dream that I knew I didn't truly believe. I thought about telling her
that I would meet them someday when I return there to see her as she's pleaded me to do. Instead I just sat and smiled and said that I didn't have anything to say and for a second I thought I saw recognition come across her face before she asked me what my favorite jolly rancher flavor was. I told her apple.
I smiled and looked up at her from the crate that I was sitting on.
"I told her that you're like a little boy trapped in a man's body."
At first all I heard was little boy and wasn't sure what to think about it but then I realized that she
said that I had a man's body. I'd rather be a little boy in a man's body than a man in a little boy's body so I smiled again.
She put a watermelon jolly rancher in her mouth and sat down beside me.
"You're quiet today."
"I don't know what to say."
She smiled a comforting smile and tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Say whatever."
Our eyes caught for a moment and I realized just why I wasn't speaking. As beautiful as she was sitting
there next to me and as good as she was making me feel, I knew what she wanted to hear from me was the promise of a dream that I would never fulfill. I would never meet her sisters or her parents or marry her and take her back to the states with me. We won't ever have a happy life together and raise children and live a fairy tale romance. She won't ever hear I love you come from my mouth and sitting there, listening to her tell me about her telling her sister and her mother about me I realized that this was what she was looking for. And I'm not willing to give it. Not so much because the situation is impossible but because I know that she isn't the one. As easy as it is for me to realize whether someone has something inside them that I could love I also realize when it isn't there and with her it isn't.
I thought about offering her the dream that I knew I didn't truly believe. I thought about telling her
that I would meet them someday when I return there to see her as she's pleaded me to do. Instead I just sat and smiled and said that I didn't have anything to say and for a second I thought I saw recognition come across her face before she asked me what my favorite jolly rancher flavor was. I told her apple.
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