The other night while I was having some champagne and cheese (okay so it was sparkling grape juice and goldfish) I wandered outside to take a gander at the summer night sky. I don't know what it is with me an skies but I have always felt very drawn to them.
I like to look up at the night sky and picture what all the people I care about are doing under this very
same sky. I like to picture them going through their days and maybe even taking a look up at the sky at the same time that I am, like Fievel and his sister in Fievel Goes West. And I like to picture that they are thinking about me at the same time that I'm thinking about them, like there is a cosmic force between us that draws us to look at the sky at the same time.
When I look up at the night sky i don't just see specks of light scattered through the sky. I see
entire Sun's and different galaxies circling around them. I see different worlds and atmospheres and creatures. I see another reality. I think of all the different types of life forms and music and cultures
and I wish that there was some way for me to visit all of them, and not through some stupid scifi movie or book but first hand. I want to see them first hand them and breath their air, taste their food and speak with their various creatures.
I'm sick of reading about other people's experiences and not living them out for myself, experiencing them myself. This life is so short and the universe so big to be wasting time not experiencing different things and holding on to the things that matter.
I recently watched the Devil's Advocate after not seeing it since the first time I watched it as a
sophomore in college. I remember relating with Keanu Reeve's character in the movie back then as he tried to excel in his career and even though his wife was having a breakdown, he continued to work on the murder trial. Much as Keanu never backs down from the challenge, I never thought twice about doing the same in my own life. But as I watched it for the second time years later, my view was completely different. Knowing the outcome already, I still wished that Keanu would stop working on the case and just take care of his wife because in the end, what really matters most?
I think this is something that I will always struggle with even though I know the right answer. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of the things that really matter in this world. Somehow, looking up at that summer night sky reminds me of this.
Looking at the daytime summer sky is something altogether different though. The daytime sky with the sun blazing, the sweat pouring and the heat sweltering as that brilliant blue sky smiles at me offers presents the possibilities in this world that have not yet been achieved. The possibilities that the night
sky mocks me with is shown fully to me in the day. It's just asking for me to grab it and take a hold and ride it. It's mine for the taking. I'm like Keanu at that waterfall in Pacino's office on top of the world. On top of the world with all the people that helped me get up there staring up at me from the bottom and I want to bring them all up there with me. I want them all to see how great it is first hand. I want them to taste how the snasberries really taste like snasberries and swim in the chocolate river. But some journies you have to make on your own. And sometimes people get left behind.
I'm learning to cope with letting people go. I'm learning that sometimes people really don't care as
much as you thought they did or as they did at one time. I'm learning that not everyone can go along with you for the whole ride. They all have their own stops to get off at and completely different rides to get on. And that doesn't mean that the portion of the ride that they existed on in your life means any less to them than it does to you. It just means that it's over and is left to forever exist as a memory.
They say that when God shuts a door he opens a window. I guess this is the symbolic window of opportunity. And even though I love an open window, I don't really like the doors to shut all the time. Sometimes I like to keep the door ajar.
I like to look up at the night sky and picture what all the people I care about are doing under this very
same sky. I like to picture them going through their days and maybe even taking a look up at the sky at the same time that I am, like Fievel and his sister in Fievel Goes West. And I like to picture that they are thinking about me at the same time that I'm thinking about them, like there is a cosmic force between us that draws us to look at the sky at the same time.
When I look up at the night sky i don't just see specks of light scattered through the sky. I see
entire Sun's and different galaxies circling around them. I see different worlds and atmospheres and creatures. I see another reality. I think of all the different types of life forms and music and cultures
and I wish that there was some way for me to visit all of them, and not through some stupid scifi movie or book but first hand. I want to see them first hand them and breath their air, taste their food and speak with their various creatures.
I'm sick of reading about other people's experiences and not living them out for myself, experiencing them myself. This life is so short and the universe so big to be wasting time not experiencing different things and holding on to the things that matter.
I recently watched the Devil's Advocate after not seeing it since the first time I watched it as a
sophomore in college. I remember relating with Keanu Reeve's character in the movie back then as he tried to excel in his career and even though his wife was having a breakdown, he continued to work on the murder trial. Much as Keanu never backs down from the challenge, I never thought twice about doing the same in my own life. But as I watched it for the second time years later, my view was completely different. Knowing the outcome already, I still wished that Keanu would stop working on the case and just take care of his wife because in the end, what really matters most?
I think this is something that I will always struggle with even though I know the right answer. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of the things that really matter in this world. Somehow, looking up at that summer night sky reminds me of this.
Looking at the daytime summer sky is something altogether different though. The daytime sky with the sun blazing, the sweat pouring and the heat sweltering as that brilliant blue sky smiles at me offers presents the possibilities in this world that have not yet been achieved. The possibilities that the night
sky mocks me with is shown fully to me in the day. It's just asking for me to grab it and take a hold and ride it. It's mine for the taking. I'm like Keanu at that waterfall in Pacino's office on top of the world. On top of the world with all the people that helped me get up there staring up at me from the bottom and I want to bring them all up there with me. I want them all to see how great it is first hand. I want them to taste how the snasberries really taste like snasberries and swim in the chocolate river. But some journies you have to make on your own. And sometimes people get left behind.
I'm learning to cope with letting people go. I'm learning that sometimes people really don't care as
much as you thought they did or as they did at one time. I'm learning that not everyone can go along with you for the whole ride. They all have their own stops to get off at and completely different rides to get on. And that doesn't mean that the portion of the ride that they existed on in your life means any less to them than it does to you. It just means that it's over and is left to forever exist as a memory.
They say that when God shuts a door he opens a window. I guess this is the symbolic window of opportunity. And even though I love an open window, I don't really like the doors to shut all the time. Sometimes I like to keep the door ajar.
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