I've been spending a lot of my time lately on the toilet. Not doing anything gross that you guys don't want to hear about and I would not want to write about but just sitting there clothed. Well not just sitting, sitting with my elbows on my thighs and my face in my hands and sleeping. I did this a lot in basic training to get away from the drill sergeants who would not let us sleep during the day, and I've made a habit of doing it at work when I need a quick pick me up to get through the night.
I normally spend about 1 full hour of my time working here on the toilet. Not, working on the toilet, but at work on the toilet. Not all at once but split up throughout the 12 hour work schedule. Today I went a little overboard and fell asleep for about an hour and a half. When I woke up my leg was asleep and I had drool dripping from the side of my mouth. I think I may have even been snoring. I was rudely awakened by a person conducting his own personal business in the
neighboring stall. Gross, I know. I was a little offended that he would even dare disrupt my naptime to do something so wretched and vile.
It seems that I've had many a job that I could sleep at while I was working. For those of you I worked at NBC with I'm sure you recall the bin that I would hole myself up in for much of the day sleeping off my hangover underneath our equipment. I worked as a shoe salesman for awhile and would sleep in the back on top of the boxes whenever the store was going a little slow. I was a trainer for awhile and had my own office in the back which I utilized on numerous occasions. And there is always that time I got caught sleeping in the phone booth while I was working as a market research interviewer in the mall for a company called Car-Lene Research.
I think sleep is a very important part of life but don't think it should have to be done on your own time. Why waste time with sleeping when those are valuable hours that you could be doing something a lot more productive? For instance yesterday I decided to not sleep at all. Instead I spent hour upon hour conducting needless transactions on a video game and saving none of my progress. That was time well spent. What would I have accomplished if I had slept? Nothing.
After I was done with that I spent about an hour and a half writing an email only to erase it without sending it to the recipient. That was more time well spent. It was about as well spent as the next two hours I spent staring at the wall or pacing about my room looking for something to do. Boy am I glad I didn't sleep. Because if I slept in my nice warm comfortable bed with all of those pillows and complete darkness then I would not have been able to sleep on the toilet today in the bright cold bathroom in the basement of the building that I work and wake up with a dead leg and a rank smell permeating my nostrils. And then I'd probably be happy now. And who really wants to be happy at 4:30 in the morning?
I normally spend about 1 full hour of my time working here on the toilet. Not, working on the toilet, but at work on the toilet. Not all at once but split up throughout the 12 hour work schedule. Today I went a little overboard and fell asleep for about an hour and a half. When I woke up my leg was asleep and I had drool dripping from the side of my mouth. I think I may have even been snoring. I was rudely awakened by a person conducting his own personal business in the
neighboring stall. Gross, I know. I was a little offended that he would even dare disrupt my naptime to do something so wretched and vile.
It seems that I've had many a job that I could sleep at while I was working. For those of you I worked at NBC with I'm sure you recall the bin that I would hole myself up in for much of the day sleeping off my hangover underneath our equipment. I worked as a shoe salesman for awhile and would sleep in the back on top of the boxes whenever the store was going a little slow. I was a trainer for awhile and had my own office in the back which I utilized on numerous occasions. And there is always that time I got caught sleeping in the phone booth while I was working as a market research interviewer in the mall for a company called Car-Lene Research.
I think sleep is a very important part of life but don't think it should have to be done on your own time. Why waste time with sleeping when those are valuable hours that you could be doing something a lot more productive? For instance yesterday I decided to not sleep at all. Instead I spent hour upon hour conducting needless transactions on a video game and saving none of my progress. That was time well spent. What would I have accomplished if I had slept? Nothing.
After I was done with that I spent about an hour and a half writing an email only to erase it without sending it to the recipient. That was more time well spent. It was about as well spent as the next two hours I spent staring at the wall or pacing about my room looking for something to do. Boy am I glad I didn't sleep. Because if I slept in my nice warm comfortable bed with all of those pillows and complete darkness then I would not have been able to sleep on the toilet today in the bright cold bathroom in the basement of the building that I work and wake up with a dead leg and a rank smell permeating my nostrils. And then I'd probably be happy now. And who really wants to be happy at 4:30 in the morning?
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