It's hard to believe that in just two days I'll be walking through the front door to my house in Rochester a full week before they think I'm supposed to be.
I can just picture the look on my mom and sister's face when I walk in, and I can feel their embrace. I can already smell that home smell in my nostrils and feel the warmth that is always in my heart when I'm not there. It doesn't matter how far my travels take me. I'm never too far from home.
But it feels a little bit different this year. Normally there is not really much that I have to miss when I go home. Home is the only place I want to be on the holidays. But this year there's a part of Colorado that's coming home with me. I'm going to bring it there and show it to everyone, show my family this love I have for Colorado, yell it out my window of my parent's suburban home, drive in the -18 degree whether with the sunroof open, screaming all the while. I want everyone to know how I feel. But they'll never understand until they see it. All i can do is tell them about it and show it to them when it's possible.
I want them to see the voluptuous mountains that populate the area and witness the roller coaster weather that makes it unique. I want them to look Colorado dead in the eyes and see just why it is that I love it so. Only then will they understand that hidden underneath all of my complaining about this place is a wealth of happiness that remains hidden. I really do hate this place sometimes. I feel like it's the worst place that I could be and I wonder why I ever liked it in the first place. But that never lasts long. That cold chill that kept me from going out or opening my shades and kept me curled up in the corner of my room gnawing at my collar disappears and is replaced by this sunshine that would make New Yorkers jealous. The world opens up to me again and my days are a dream.
There are times I just want to get away from it all. I want to just hop in a car and drive off the planet and make my own nation. I want everyone to leave me alone and I want to make fire by myself with just two twigs. I want to drink my water out of coconuts and pineapples and I want everything to be the way I demand them to be. But then I realize that this nation is not the answer. Being alone is not the answer. And having everything just the way you want them to be is a terrible bore.
I guess I'm coming to love the ups AND the downs in life. The more heartache I feel and sleep that I lose and loneliness I endure, the more real I feel. I realize that this isn't my nation, sometimes I have to drink my liquids out of a glass and even when I think I am, I'm not alone.
I can just picture the look on my mom and sister's face when I walk in, and I can feel their embrace. I can already smell that home smell in my nostrils and feel the warmth that is always in my heart when I'm not there. It doesn't matter how far my travels take me. I'm never too far from home.
But it feels a little bit different this year. Normally there is not really much that I have to miss when I go home. Home is the only place I want to be on the holidays. But this year there's a part of Colorado that's coming home with me. I'm going to bring it there and show it to everyone, show my family this love I have for Colorado, yell it out my window of my parent's suburban home, drive in the -18 degree whether with the sunroof open, screaming all the while. I want everyone to know how I feel. But they'll never understand until they see it. All i can do is tell them about it and show it to them when it's possible.
I want them to see the voluptuous mountains that populate the area and witness the roller coaster weather that makes it unique. I want them to look Colorado dead in the eyes and see just why it is that I love it so. Only then will they understand that hidden underneath all of my complaining about this place is a wealth of happiness that remains hidden. I really do hate this place sometimes. I feel like it's the worst place that I could be and I wonder why I ever liked it in the first place. But that never lasts long. That cold chill that kept me from going out or opening my shades and kept me curled up in the corner of my room gnawing at my collar disappears and is replaced by this sunshine that would make New Yorkers jealous. The world opens up to me again and my days are a dream.
There are times I just want to get away from it all. I want to just hop in a car and drive off the planet and make my own nation. I want everyone to leave me alone and I want to make fire by myself with just two twigs. I want to drink my water out of coconuts and pineapples and I want everything to be the way I demand them to be. But then I realize that this nation is not the answer. Being alone is not the answer. And having everything just the way you want them to be is a terrible bore.
I guess I'm coming to love the ups AND the downs in life. The more heartache I feel and sleep that I lose and loneliness I endure, the more real I feel. I realize that this isn't my nation, sometimes I have to drink my liquids out of a glass and even when I think I am, I'm not alone.
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