Charlie and the Baby Factory

A friend that I would consider one of the best ones I’ve got is getting married in a month and this was how I found out:

Hi everyone,

I'm engaged.  For those of you who don't know, her name is Amber Keavey.  She and I have decided to get married next month here in Fayetteville, NC.  I know that it's very short notice, but if any of you would like to join us on Saturday, Nov 12th we'd love to have you here.  I realize that there are a lot of people I didn't include in this email, I'm not trying to exclude anyone so please forward it if you think they'd be interested.  If you plan to attend, please let me know.  If you can't make it, I understand.  

Thanks,

John [AKA Charlie]

I don’t know the circumstances behind this rushed matrimony but I am under the impression there is a shotgun involved.  This was a mass email sent to 85 other recipients, many of which bore the same last name.  That makes me feel a little less bad about never hearing about this girl.  Also, I guess it’s been awhile since we’ve spoken.

The last time I saw John was when I was living in Alexandria, VA.  This was not long after the ex and I had packed up our California domicile and driven back east to for our new start.  The love balloon had not yet popped at this point in time.  Logan had not yet arrived to crash on our couch.  We were still searching for our “place” on the east.  We hadn’t made too many friends and most of the ones that had made were kind of shitty.

We were deep into the spirits that evening before ever stepping out to the bars in Old Town.  John was the first… and perhaps the last friend of mine that ever liked my ex (besides Logan, who doesn’t really count because Logan was part of our unconventional family unit).  I remember John saying something like,

“You said she was cool but I didn’t think she would be this cool.  What is she doing with you?”, and then he laughed and said, “No seriously though… is this for real?”

At that moment in time it felt pretty “real” and I told him so.  When he asked about whether and when I’d marry her… I deferred to an unspecified time.  “We’re taking things slow.”

Given the email above I guess he knew then, what I am beginning to realize now.  Sometimes you just know.   I probably knew deep down, even at that moment in time, things weren’t going to last.  Even then while I was still faithfully trudging through the muck I called love, there were serious indicators that the romance would end poorly.  Maybe I wasn’t ready for that next step and keeping her around was my way of staying out of what I considered, then, to be the death of life as I wanted it.  Marriage, to me, meant the end of dreams and possibilities, the end of ambition.  Who wants that?

That was age 26.  When 30-year-old John was confronted with freedom, an empty house and the emotional emptiness involved in the temporary connections that were formed with liquid courage and festive airs, it hit him, he’s not Barney Stinson.  He didn’t want to be Barney Stinson.  He was ready.

I don’t want to be a lifetime bachelor.  Yeah, I’m having fun being single and will continue to do so as long as I can but under the right circumstances… if the moon was lit just perfectly and the winds were whispering sweet sounds and If my stomach was filled with that love knot that made me want to act like Tom Cruise, jumping on a couch for sheer joy… AND if the logic was in unison with the heart, then and only then, would I rush into things the way John is right now.  When you know, you know.  I just hope he didn’t forget to do the math, because the heart will make you do some funny things that your logic would not agree with.