They Know...

"Hey there soldier how is everything going?"

"Oh it's going good, good, just fine sir."

"That's great, that's great.  Hey, what unit are you with soldier?"  The major leaned in and crinkled his brow with a look of concern when he said this.

"Spitfire sir."

"Ah Spitfire".  The returned to the upright position and maintained a smirk on is face that let me know
that this was not just a friendly hallway conversation.  The sly grin and the knowing tone of his voice told me that this was a probe.  The Major was searching for an answer from me that he thought I was keeping from him.

"What are the numbers that go along with that
Specialist?"

"There are no numbers with it sir.  We're attached to
the 115th but only for service and support"

"Oh. okay", the major looked in the sky and plucked the question "Where are you coming from?  I was told you're coming out of Colorado?"

"Yes, yes that's correct sir.  I'm coming from 63^rd MI..."

"MI what?

"Battalion, battalion, MI Battalion sir."

"Oh, 63rd MI Battalion.  So that's your unit?"

"When I go back home, yes, yes it is sir"

The lean and crinkle came back.

"That's my unit in the states but when we're here we're not a part of them sir", I replied before my nerves took over.  "Technically we're attached to some unit over in Fort Belvoir but they aren't deployed or anything so we're not really attached to any unit here. We're our own unit.  The unit of Spitfire, Spitfire is our unit."

"Oh okay, some unit on Fort Belvoir.  I know the one you speak of."

"Shit" I thought, he's figured me out.  "Well that's what colonel... colonel..."

"Yes, yes, Colonel whatshisname over in some unit at Fort Belvoir.  I know of him."

Now he definitely knew.  "I'm sorry sir, I really can't recall his name."

The major just nodded at me and stood with his arms crossed in front of me waiting.  I didn't feel comfortable and started to back away towards the door but he followed so I blurted "Is that what you were looking for sir?  Was that a good answer?  I'm just telling you what I was told.  I don't understand why we're here either.  I just know that the army said "hey you, you go there" and here I am."  I found myself trapped in the corner of the stairway with the major still standing in front of me nodding away as if he was not listening to a word of what I had just said but was contemplating his next strike.  The foot of space between the major and the wall gave me a glimmer of hope to escape so I made a go at it and said, "have a nice day sir", while slipping by the major and down the stairwell.  The major remained towering over me as I walked down the steps and towards the door.  I could feel his gaze burning a hole through my DCUs as I bolted out of the building.

I had narrowly escaped.  But now he knew.  I didn't like the fact that he knew.  I never liked anyone to
know.  The less people that know the better things are for me.  But there was no doubt in the recognition that I saw in his eyes.  He completely understood, that I have no clue what I'm doing and that I don't really belong in the army.  I knew that he understood my military plight in those few moments that we spoke and I just hoped that he wouldn't tell the rest of them. 

I've been pretty fortunate to somehow have slipped "under the radar" since I've been in the military.  I've gone unnoticed.  I haven't done anything great to draw positive attention to myself but i haven't done anything wrong to draw the negative attention either.  That's the way I like it.  The less I have to deal with the army the easier it is to forget that I'm in it.

It's not that the army is such a bad place to be.  It's actually been a great couple of years since I've been in.  I've made a ton of good friends and seen some cool places and made decent money for doing hardly anything.  But that's because I've made the best of every situation that i've been in and flown steadily under the radar.  But times they are a changing.

My company commander back in Colorado is pushing me to become a sergeant.  Now a promotion seems great and all and will be to a certain extent but it will also change everything.  That radar will hone in on me and everyone will find out the truth.  They'll all know that I have no business being in the army.  They'll all know that I'm just doing my time and that I see the army as an escape from the real life that I intend to start once I separate.  The life that does not resemble the highly technical world that the Army embraces.  They'll realize that their brainwashing didn't work and that my creative spirit still thrives inside of me.  They'll try to capture me and send me to the dreaded PLDC (Primary Leadership Development Course) and give me responsibilities and ruin the last two years of my sideways journey that this army has been for me.

But then again, I do like the sound of Sergeant Dianni, not as much as I like the sound of Doctor Dianni but it could be pretty alright.